Co-parenting can be tough but for the sake of kids, one has to make it work. No one is prepared for the future, especially in marriages. It might work out or not. Well, that not the issue, the issue is co-parenting after separation. Most of the times women are known to use kids as leverage even after they have moved on and married other people.
Research shows that the male parent or father is equally important as the female one. There are things kids can only learn from their fathers or mothers only. Children who have fathers present in their lives are less likely to end up in prison or drop out of school. when we say fathers, I mean men who are not toxic. Men who are genuinely interested in being present in their kid`s lives and being good father figures.
When fathers are actively involved with their children`s lives and in a healthy manner, the children do better. When one partner is married to someone else how do you go about co-parenting?
Here are several healthy ways to go about during co- parenting;
Once you have kids, they become the priority, there is no question about that. it’s a parenthood instinct. If you happen to have moved on, your kid is still a priority. They are helpless creatures who need you to make decisions that are right for them. That’s your work as a parent.
- Don’t use kids as leverage
People break up and move on. Some parents would like to co-parent and stay in touch with their kids. If your previous partner is healthy and has a sound mind and wants to be part of their kid’s life, let them. Using the kids as leverage or to manipulate someone is not the way to go. Poisoning the kids over the other parent is not the way to go either. No one knows the future, and things may happen that will lead to kids falling back to their dad or mum. For that reason, allow the kids to have a relationship with their other parent.
Communicating effectively is the magic trick to co-parenting. Communicate and put your differences aside and do what`s best for the kid. Every kid deserves to keep in touch with both their parents, especially when the other parent is willing. As I stated above, both parents are equally important to the kid, either female or male.
Kids can`t manage themselves, so you have to mutually agree on time that best works for both of you. Decide on what days the other parents can have time with kid, how long and every other rule around it.
Some of the things to discuss are;
-Days to spend with the kid
-If seeping over is on the table or not
-Is the kid wiling?
-Where to pick the kid or even they are to be picked from home.
-And what`s to be done on such days.
It`s important to be on the same page. Keep the communications lines open for better co-parenting. It’s recommended that sometimes you spend time with the kid together even if you are separated. Co-parenting involves doing wats best for the kids.
- Involve kids in discussions
One of the best ways to raise kids to be open is to involve them in conversations that concern them. Give them space to say what they want and of course you as parent decide what`s best for them while considering their input.
Another thing is to explain to the kids that you are no longer together but you will co-parent even though some things will change. Get rid of any doubt that the kid has concerning their parents.
One of the joys of every kid is to grow up having a good relationship with both parents. It’s your responsibility as a parent to make sure that co-parenting works. That’s how you raise responsible kids who are not damaged and that are good members of society. Kids are a priority and their relationships with their parents can make or damage them. Co-parenting will always work if both parents put aside their differences.