The boy child claims to have been neglected something that I disagree with. Don’t judge me yet before you hear me out.

Image by Leroy Skalstad from Pixabay

Women in a long time were neglected but in recent years we have seen the girl child rise and take her place of equity with the opposite gender. This didn’t happen overnight, it’s a fight that many have had to pay for. Since 1916 when the first contraceptive method was made legal for women in America, it marked the beginning of a revolution for women.

Women were always controlled and seen as sexual objects and women fought against that and now women can do whatever they want with their bodies. Women would be raped and the man would go scot free or the worst that could happen is marry the girl back in the day even if the girl didn’t want the man. Imagine getting married to a man who forced himself on you. it’s a night mare.

Women used to be beaten and disciplined by their husbands’ like animals (even animals have rights these days). It was sad and it’s sad to say it still goes on.  Even when you don’t give birth to a male child, something which men are responsible for, the woman suffered for it.

This was all in the name of controlling women and much more. One thing that stands out is women said enough is enough and came together and voiced their demands and needs. Over and over they talked about it until people listened.

Today women are no longer judged by whether they can have kids, if they can have male kids, if they are married. The modern woman is defined by what she does, her achievements, and much more. It’s been journey and women now can have a place in the parliament.  The point is they spoke up and they still are doing the same. We’ve not gotten there yet, but we’ve changed what defines a woman and we still are fighting to do so.

On the other hand, men have refused to change what defines them. Their egos and masculinity all lie and are defined by women. How much a man makes and if he makes more than the wife. How much pain they can take, if their wife obeyed them, whether or not they do house chores and much more. Even in abusive marriages where the man is on the receiving end of the abuse, they just take like men. Which is ridiculous.

Well, I won’t overlook the upper hand that women have been dealt with, which is women being perceived as fragile and the man being less of a man if he fights a woman. That doesn’t mean men should stay in abusive marriages and take the toxicity that women are giving them. This brings me to the point of men being their own enemies in the sense that if a man spoke out to his friends or even reported to the authorities that his wife is being abusive, they immediately become the laughing stock by their fellow men and society as a whole.  This is wrong on so many levels.

The notion of the boy child has to struggle to make it and can’t seek help is just wrong as well. No one can exist alone, we all need help and the sooner men accept that the better. The boy child is human, just like the girl child. They have a right to speak against the wrongs happening or being done to them. This can’t come to reality if men and boys don’t accept this and become one with it. If every man supported their fellow-men when the spoke up instead of terming them as having umama then the society will change for the better. We all would look for better ways to make you people survive better. We can’t want that more than you people want it. Just talking about how neglected you guys are is not going to change anything. You need to unify and speak as one. With time, the changes will take place and we will do away with the toxic masculinity.

I am a big believer of equity and men talking about their feelings and being given a chance to be who they are. To grow and embrace who they want to be than just living by rules and expectations that were decided a longtime a go by society. But again we can`t want this more than the boy child wants it.

Speak up until people listen. Join organizations that are helping the boy child. Women didn’t get leadership positions overnight or the chance to read overnight, we spoke and spoke until we were loud enough and changes were made. We wanted it more than the society did or even men did.

Its the boy child who will make the changes once they stop being their own enemies. It’s the boy child who will support each other and redefine masculinity and what it takes to be a man. To every other person out there who is ready to listen, I will be speaking on their behalf if I said being a man is a matter of gender and masculinity, every boy child gets to define that for themselves.  

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