Habits can build or destroy you. Growing up we live according to rules or expectations. We develop habits recommended for us or rather things that are assumed to be good habits. That works just fine except when we grow up. It’s like we have released form this bubble and now we have to survive and make something of ourselves. I won’t lie, it’s a struggle. Values are what separates people from others and are shown through habits. In such a world, we all have different habits. Days ago I was having a conversation with my mum about a certain issue in her life and even as she explained the situation.
She then went ahead to impact knowledge. After our 20 minutes’ conversation, she left me thinking about the lessons she had taught me growing up. She always suggested certain habits I should adopt. Being the last born, not to brag, but I get the most wisdom. Anyway; here are the 5 habits that have impacted my life in a huge way.
DEALING WITH GOSSIP
People will talk and that will prompt you to respond. Most of the talk is just small talk from idle minds. You’ll be tempted to be reactive and respond. It’s being human. Look at the bigger picture here. Validating their stupidity gives them more reason to keep talking or spreading malicious stories about you. Basically, you’ll be empowering them. You don’t have to do that, do better, and focus the energy on you and live your best life. Like my mum said; don’t respond and just use that to determine who is good for your growth. Don’t even give them a fraction of your time. As they say, empty debe`s make the most noise. Do better.
HABIT OF FORGIVING
Forgive and ask for forgiveness where need be. How she puts it even in marriage it’s what you need the most, forgiveness. For it to survive, one has to put ego or pride on the side and forgive. Even when you are not wrong. As usual, I argued with this. Why would I ask for forgiveness for something I haven’t done? She explained it further. The idea behind it, is to keep peace. Which brings calmness. This leads to an honest conversation where both of you can ask for forgiveness and take accountability. It’s meant to create a safe space for an honest conversation and do away with the defensiveness.
Considering that I’m not married, try this out and let me know how it goes. It’s worked for my parents; my guess is it will work for you.
I once wrote about finances and how you can make the best out of it. Save for the rainy day. There will always be a rainy day so save. Here is the thing about savings, it’s not about having extra money to put away, rather sacrifice the money and put it aside. Saving is tough but once you get in the habit of it gets easier.
KIDS AND MEN
Every parent should take care of their kid. But any woman should not just have babies because the man or partner has money and out the burden on them. Contribute equally and if need be, do more for your kids. As she says, men die or shit happens. What will you do then?
Develop a backup plan and do better. According to her, depending entirely on someone makes your brain dormant. You won’t think outside calling or texting to ask for cash. It’s not a good mentality for the long run.
BE NICE TO PEOPLE
She has always insisted on being nice or good to people genuinely. I don’t know how much that is a thing of the past but regardless I took the advice. Her way is every time you talk to people or interact and build relationships, always remember people are going through things you don’t know about. The silent battles being fought are just too many. For that reason, be the reason someone smiles today.
What she is saying is, just build relationships that are healthy and beneficial but be nice regardless. You will need it later. I tell you people, it helps and I’m a living examples of this.
Well, to survive you need people and one has to learn how to co-exist with others. You just have to. Develop these 5 habits and see how different your life will be.