Reflecting back at my failed relationships and I can’t tell you why I dated the guys I dated. Were they attractive to me, yes actually handsome! Very handsome that I was so proud of being around them. Don’t misquote me, that was not all but let’s be honest physical appearance does play a role. The problem was I lacked was a purpose for dating.
why was I in a relationship? I don’t know. Was it to get married? I guess not because my first boyfriend offered marriage and I gladly said no. A part of me still believes in happily ever after but still, I didn’t want to get married then, why did I date. When I say I lacked purpose am being realistic. I was in a relationship for the sake of being in one. After everything, I had nothing that I walked away with in terms of growth. So why date?
Why do you date?
Where I am right now, am not sure I believe so much in marriage. It works but maybe it’s not for me. Or maybe I just haven’t met someone who has made me consider marriage or kids. Chris Kirubi said marriage finds you so I’ll take my chances.
I see so many failed relationships or even toxic ones, it all goes down to lack of purpose. We are programmed to look for the one. I think the one is a myth. We choose people based on our needs, how they massage our egos, and much more. More of what they can give to us rather than what we can give to them. We don’t even think of what we will become as one.
Character and personalities change and that’s where the problems come in when it comes to relationships. People go through so much, either in a good way or bad way and that changes them. You’ve changed becomes the new norm. Blame game sets in. It all ends in premium tears.
Shouldn’t relationships be unions that provide a ground for growth in every way? To be better. To love and support whoever your partner becomes. Michelle Obama didn’t think politics were for his husband Barrack Obama but still supported him.
Relationships with a purpose can be the most fulfilling ones ever. Taking time off to reflect and figure out what you will be looking for in the union can be life-changing.